(Verse 1 – Funky Bass Groove)
You're naked—
Try to fight me?!
I’m a chicken,
On the floor, nightly.
You look dazed—
Did you sip my brew?
Try the salsa—
It might dance through you!

(Chorus – Big Band Swing Style)
Happy happy Titaus!
It’s really really spicy!
You seem kinda mighty,
Try this on for size-y!

(Verse 2 – Chaotic March)
Chicken fries, onion pies,
Flying high on cable ties—
I’m out here chuckin’ eggs at cars,
Laughin’ like a loon on Mars!

(Bridge – Dramatic Spoken Word over accordion)
This ain't your mama’s dipping sauce...
This is war,
On a tortilla floor.
I am the cluck that walks at night.
I fart with fright, in neon light.

(Chorus – Everyone Joins In)
Happy happy Titaus!
I’m really really nice-y!
That belt looks tighty...
Try this on for size-y!

(Breakdown – Chant with kazoo solo)
Chicken fries! Onion pies!
Flying high on cable ties!
Chicken fries! Onion pie!
FLYING HIGH ON CABLE TIIIIIES!!!

(Outro – Whispered over honking trumpet)
Cable ties…
Chicken sighs…
Salsa dreams…
Eggs don’t lie.