I said sorry
so many times I started to believe it
but that word never fit in my mouth right
so I spit it out

Tired of shrinking just to make you comfortable
Tired of folding every time you fumble through
Tired of nodding like I understand
when I barely recognize the skin on my hands

I kept quiet, they called it strong
I broke down, they said move on
I’ve been walking on eggshells so long
my feet forgot how to feel solid ground

You don’t know the weight of silence
You don’t hear the scream beneath compliance

I’m not sorry anymore
Not for the mess
Not for the noise
Not for the fire I buried just to keep you poised

I’m not sorry anymore
Call me cold
Call me fake
But I’d rather bleed truth than lie for your sake


You ever stare at a mirror
and not know who you’re forgiving?
That was me every morning
apologizing to a ghost I kept living

I let guilt chain me up like decor
hung shame on my walls like awards
I tried to earn love through damage control
but all that did was hollow my core


You say I changed
But I just stopped erasing myself
to fit your outline


I’m not sorry anymore
Not for the cracks
Not for the scars
Not for the silence that taught me who you are

I’m not sorry anymore
Call it rage
Call it pride
I just call it finally choosing my side

They told me
"Be small, be sweet, be still"
But I grew thorns where they asked me to kneel
No more yes sir
No more fake smile deals
You don’t get to burn me
then ask me to heal

I’m not sorry anymore
Not for the mess
Not for the noise
Not for the voice I buried just to keep your poise

I’m not sorry anymore
Say I changed
That’s fine
At least I’m not apologizing for being alive